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I have a bunch of these I came up with for a DND character I played for a while. Try to read this with a deep southern accent.
Well, paddle my ass and call me a sailboat
Well, spit in my mouth and call me a saxophone
Well, fill me with meat and call me a sandwich
You can’t go wrong with borrowing from Gus Chiggins, Old Prospector. “Ahhh peaches!” “Ohhh pickle juice!” “Awww cinnamon and gravy!”
My favourite so far is an Irish character saying “shit the bed” with a Corkish accent.
Fun fact: An archaic word for these is “ejaculations”. Now, imagine 12 year old me, having read old British fiction from like 1700s-1800s and picking up on archaic words like that and using them in front of my peers.
I didn’t have a pleasant childhood. heh.
Also, “golly” was mentioned as a non-religious one, but “golly” ultimately comes from “God”, so… alas, it doesn’t qualify.
A lot of them are bowdlerizations or minced oaths of religious ones, or at least memetic drift streamlining them. Zounds, struth, darn, gosh, jeeze… tarnation.
I like “shit on it!” but that might just be because I recently watched Friday Night Dinner.
"Oh shit on it. Shit on the shitting thing!’
Fuck me sideways and call me craig
What in the name of absolute fuck?
Also, don’t undervalue the satisfaction of going into a full Yosemite Sam litany of nonsense: “Hazzen frazzen jimpin jampin frazzle bazzle mizzen mazzen grizzle bizzle…!!!”
“Bugger me with a fish fork!”
“By the tits of my ancestors!”
Might I introduce you to the good old Dutch tradition of swearing with diseases?
Tuberculosis (“tering!”), typhoid (“tyfus!”), cholera (“klere”), mange (“schurft”), smallpox (“pokken”) are pretty cool and acceptable. Cancer used to be common but that’s rather fallen out of fashion. You can also combine it with religious swearing AND reproductive organs for a trifecta.
“Godverdetyfuskutzooi” is just a beauty, but “goddamtyphoidvaginamess” doesn’t work in English.
but “goddamtyphoidvaginamess” doesn’t work in English.
Perhaps not, but I think “cunt jumble” needs to enter the lexicon.
apparently the rudest thing you can call a Dutch person literally translates as “cancer-whore”
Yeah, pretty much exactly true.
using “cancer” as a swearword is considered very bad these days, so we’ve actually started to censor the swearing/insults down to “the c-word” meaning that “You’re a C-whore” is now actually a thing people say.
Friend of mine refuses to cuss. She makes up childish ones in their place.
One day we were playing League of Legends and she fucked something up then said: “Son of a biscuit bean-dip mother-frito!!!” I’d never say it in place of a good “oh fuck me, then” but I will never forget it for as long as I live.
Anyone else who remembers this better from “Cow &chicken” correct me, but this is what I recall “dad” exclaiming:
“Well, shave my legs and call me grandpa”by the nine divines!
#why do they #talk like this #?
So back in the day tumblr didn’t have comments. It did allow you to add tags when reblogging, so people used that instead. Of course these days tumblr does have comments, but all the good comments still get put in the tags.
Tumblr is a special place.
Hashtagnofilter
Anything can be an exclamation if you put an exclamation mark at the end! 😃
