I see friends, family, strangers, subconsciously go for their phones during thoughtless times daily. Have a moment to think… Scroll. Showering with their phone propped up watching a video. First wake up and spend an hour or two frying the mind.
It has gotten so bad in my friend group and close family I swear they could not function emotionally without consuming content. When you bring it up or any negative about it. Anger, distasteful emotions. How do you talk, convince, gain real traction towards slowing or decreasing time spent. Once or twice a day could be ok. These people do it for sometimes hours daily. It’s sickening. Advice?
Challenge them to bloom-scroll, and actually learn something.
Almost what I was looking for!
That’s so damn cool!
The only soul you will ever be able to save is your own.
Set an example, invite them outside to play, or suggest a board game night, basically offer them options that get them away from it, but expect most of them to just keep scrolling for your own mental health.
Take care of yourself and love unconditionally. If one wants change, he or she may seek it.
But mobilek is my best friend. You shouldn’t put your best friend down.
I’m gonna be probably a little too real here… This…uh…might not be the best place to ask. It’s kinda like running into a bar and asking everyone how they stay sober. It’s a nicer bar than the divey place down the road but…it’s a bar.
I kinda agree, but it’s also a very small bar with mostly empty shelves.
I’m usually reading my all-feed, and after like 20-30 minutes I’m into single digit upvote counts (if I even read to the end). So you’re gonna have a hard time spending “hours” per day here, unless you’re also on other platforms.
Oh, some of us manage it…
Then again, I have a lot of time on my hands that has to be completely interruptable at a moment’s notice
My advice: don’t try to control other people’s behavior. Maybe discuss your personal choices and encourage folks to do the same once or twice, but if you try more than that you’re gonna strain your relationships.
I agree and share this approach. I’ll happily explain to my friends why I don’t interact with ‘traditional social media’, or why I don’t want Google knowing every single detail about me, if they ask. I won’t shame them or nag on them about their choices. It has worked without any issues until recently when I befriended a couple, who has two kids. Compared to other friends, these two are the most extreme cases of scrollers I’ve ever seen.
I’ll be in the middle of telling a story and suddenly one of them will pull up their phone and stop listening. The weird thing is that I genuinely believe that they don’t really register the behavior, or that their intention is to be rude impolite. When it happens, the situation naturally becomes a bit awkward because I’ll get thrown off and stop talking, they notice what they just did, and sincerely apologize for the disrespect. They’ve explained and ensured me that whatever topic or story we were discussing isn’t the reason, but oh boy does it feel like a personal insult every single time.
I understand why it happens, it’s a behavioral pattern. But an adult should not have to be reminded to listen to their friends.
Sometimes I have been talking with a friend and one of us says something that sparks a question in my head. The urge to look it up is powerful. Yes it’s rude but so is verbally interrupting in order to share the thought before the topic is gone. I mention this not as an excuse but to say it doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t interested in what you’re saying, and sometimes they’re still listening even though they’re look at the phone.
Also “inslut” includes an example of its own meaning.
No, I wouldn’t mind if someone took out their phone to look something up that was related to the topic, that is understandable and can be politely done without disturbing a conversation. But the reason to pick up their phone has only been to scroll Tiktok or Instagram, and what made them pick up the phone was not because they lacked interest in the subject, but because an
unconscious behavior urgeaddiction. Some people can multitask, most can’t, and some say they can but really can’t.As I mentioned, both have genuinely excused themselves and apologized every time it has happened, and we all pretty much laugh it off at this point. They usually roll their eyes and sigh at themselves for “doing it again”, it’s not really a situation where I even have to say something before they notice themselves. If I didn’t take the excuse seriously I wouldn’t take it so lightly, but since they are self aware of the habit and apologize there’s nothing else to say. It’s their choice if they want to continue with their addiction or not, and as awful as it may sound - at least they are self aware, not everyone are.
Also “inslut” includes an example of its own meaning.
Haha, thanks for the catch! Ever since I recently enabled autocorrect on my phone these strange spelling errors has started to occur. Don’t ask me how it reasoned there.
I’ve struggled with this myself but I’ve gotten a lot better. I kept deleting the Instagram app so the temptation wasn’t there to scroll reels, but then I’d redownload to post a story and fall right back into the same trap. Well I have a tablet that I only use for reading manga, watching movies/tv/anime via plex, and sometimes stream games from Steam via my desktop as a host client.
I’m renovating my kitchen which is down to the studs currently so the temptation to post is real, but I just do it from my tablet now instead. For whatever reason I view it as a tool to do only those three things so I don’t get sucked into the same loop now. And I really need to work on getting our house to not be a construction zone so I have better things to do than scroll videos that I will forget what I even watched within minutes.
That was the biggest revelation how much of a time waste it really is. If I can’t even remember what I watched it was that insignificant then there’s no point. Sure maybe I’d show my husband something funny, but that’s about as far as it goes. Truly feels like brain rot in real time
I would focus on what you can control. I think you could politely mention that you think they are on the phone too much and you feel it is an unhealthy habit. I would say that’s about the most I would intervene. It gets them thinking about the amount of time they are on the phone/internet and leaves it in their hands to make a change.
Anything more than that will be seen as pushy and overstepping, which will just give them a reason to dismiss you. The main thing I’ll say here is that it’s not your responsibility to “save” the people you care about in your life. The biggest impact you can have is focusing on yourself and setting a positive example for those around you.
It’s digital heroin. We who are still awake must legislate a law against it or humanity is doomed.
Would try to convince them to use an eink device.
Like this one
This was the way for me. I started carrying around the XTEINK x3 in a little case strapped to my wallet and whenever I’m out and have downtime I just read a few pages. I’ve read more books in the last few months than the last decade.
Currently reading Leech by Hiron Ennes
a gunthe bible or somethingCenter your activities either around things that need both hands (sports, creative hobbies) or in remote location with no cell service.
Maybe board game night specifically without cellphones.
If you want to stop their use in day to day life, it sucks but it’s an addiction that is completely socially acceptable. Be prepared to get some flak for frustrating their dopamine rush. The options are limited and you won’t come off as helping to say the least.
I think phone use is tied to boredom personally, so if you notice someone falling into an hour long loop, invite them to do something I guess.
Do they have a reason not to?
We all have lots of very good reasons to keep phone usage to an absolute minimum. Not all screentime is inherently bad, but all of the big infinite scroll apps are designed to be as addictive as cigarettes.
I agree that those apps are crazy addictive. But like what’s the reason for them in particular to stop? What are they losing that’s of value to them?
Time with themself and others. Their ability to pay attention to things. A healthy baseline level of stimulation.
I invite friends and family members on walks but tell them no phones are allowed. If they need to bring it in casenof emergency, they have to turn it on silent
Would be interesting to say, phones allowed. To subtly indicate this is generally a no phone activity. And they may challenge themselves to not use it on their own.
This is way too subtle, the message will not be received.
Steal their phone, open the apps they use the most, and completely fuck up their algorithm watching and liking things they normally wouldn’t. Just completely fucking poison their well.
CartelTok all the way
