I feel it is an obligation for any older folk to pass wisdom to those not-in-the-know of things regarding life. Some people are born directionless and they get lost in their lives and before they know it, they’re knee-deep in debt, they’re in awful minimal-wage jobs, they make poor decisions regarding their love lives .etc
I have several and my more prominent one is;
- Know Your Numbers
This is a key and must-have piece of knowledge. You must know your numbers. How much you’ll earn a month, how much your expenses are, how much is in your bank account, interests and much more. I don’t care if you’ve hated math growing up, you will need to know this. Because going off on guesswork and estimations, only gets you so far before you slip up. Once you slip up financially, missing a payment, you will fall behind faster than you’ll get back ahead or break even. As someone said, everyone is one car repair or medical emergency away from being in poverty.
- Do not get kids in your teens and 20s
Your teenage and young adolescent years, are better spent figuring out who you are and what you want to achieve. Recklessly getting kids with someone who you thought you loved or poor planning are reasons people end up paying child support and having to go to family court and having to deal with custody battles for the rest of their lives. Supporting a kid is $250k PER child, that’s the average, moreso because of the economy. Is it really worth the few minutes of sex at all for that expense?
- Avoid Jail
Going to jail, over anything, is a bad setback to have in life. If you think finding a job is hard normally with the way the job market is, it’ll be twice that if you have a criminal record. That is just shit not a lot will be ignored.
You’ll lose time, you’re likely to lose any jobs you’ve had at the time of going to jail, you may polarize family and friends even. It’s just not worth it, regardless. The more times you end up in jail too, consider your life over.
- Thrift and Thrift Away!
Thrifting can be a dirty word to some who prefer to get things new, which I understand. But it is a money-saver in the long run. For example, my apartment is 85% of thrifted items and I have a hard time recalling anything I’ve spent more than $10 for, aside from select things I bought new because I wanted them new, like some appliances.
Just try not to be a hoarder if it can be helped.
Don’t listen to strangers on the internet
My best advice? Stop considering 30 to be old.
I’m 48. I’m going to expend many of you here are white men much younger than me.
Some words if advice.
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Have kids young. You will never be ready. There is an old expression, “In for a penny. In for a pound.”. Either you like the idea of kids or not. If you do, don’t wait just do it.
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Romance. African women are 🥰. If they’re part of the Diaspora and like me you tend to be more if an introvert the juxtaposition can work amazing.
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Don’t forget the forest for the trees. Yes the world is on fire. Yes things are increasingly bleak and hopeless. Enjoy life. You have family and friends and they are still important and mean something. Cherish that.
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Everyone makes mistakes. What’s important is do you learn from them and how do you recover?
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Comparison is the thief of joy.
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Be different. Be contrary. Challenge. If everyone jumps turn around and look at the person telling you to jump but don’t do it blindly.
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Volunteer. Social connectedness is the factor most correlated with happiness.
First of all, fuck you.
Second, how dare you?
I take offence at 30 being old 😅
Well, i remember being like 25 or so, and i was out drinking. I met this guy and he was alone so we took him with us. We talked, had a lot of fun and everything and at some point i asked: how old are you. Because he kinda looked our age, maybe younger. He said: 32.
It blew my mind. I was like oh my god, this guy looks so young, and he’s ancient. We showed him around and asked random people to guess his age. Omg, can you believe he’s 32 and still up at 2am? Crazy i know.
I am now 40 years old, and find the thought of someone being 32 and old absolutely bizarre, but i do always remember that story. Also i’m now the 40 year old that gets shown around having people guess my age. I think i took over the curse.
if you are truly down and out.
hop a freight train, travel with nothing but a backpack.
the world WILL provide
For this, just adjust your expectations of what success is. Take it one day at a time.
First of all: rude! I dont want to think about climbing on 40.
Jest aside here are some things I always put off writing down from the back of my mind:
If you have the support structure, get children at the earliest point you feel somewhat comfortable - do you’ll be around each other for longer.
No table stands only on two legs - you should always cultivate three sets of skills that are potentially money earning.
Tend to your outlets - everyone should do something as an emotional, creative, physical and structural outlet. You also must avoid combining more than two. Always create something, never stop moving and always consider your self and others well-being.
Maintain your attention span - avoid inattentive use of fast paced media
Budgeting, learn it, do it, don’t overcomplicate it. There is no way to become rich fast and stay a decent person.
Strive to learn at least one other language - every language is like you unlock a new facette of your soul.
“Consider your life over”
Calm down Lucifer
Have a good time all the time.
If you’re romantically interested in someone, say “hey, I’m romantically interested in you”.
Do not have a “crush”, do not have a friend you’re secretly in love with, do not secretly pine for anyone. It is not interesting, it does not make you stronger, you are not the protagonist in a romance novel, and you are dumb if you want to try to “save our friendship”.
If the other person is not interested, say “Thank you for your honesty. It’s been nice knowing you” and move on with your life. Stop wasting time. Life is too short.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t waste precious time on imaginary scenarios.
Problem is if it’s a coworker to whom you’re interested in. A lot of people are hesitant to ask their coworkers for date because of the adage “don’t shit where you eat”.
Enjoy life. You only have one. Fuck what other people think. Do what you want to do. Just don’t hurt anyone else in the process and you’re all good.
Read books, get off the internet.
Drink water… seriously. Make tea if needed. No sodas.
Invest heavily in a good mattress, you spend 1/3 of your life on it.
Try and make something. Woodworking, painting, music, anything that makes you feel happy.
Find 2 or 3 good friends and keep them for life.
Stay away from religions and cults.
(optional) get a dog. Man and dog evolved together, we need each other.
It’s not easy.
Don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t use recreational drugs.
No sugar, no processed foods. Make all your own meals from the freshest ingredients you can afford, mostly vegetables. Food is not entertainment, food is not reward.
Avoid antibiotics in your cleaning products and food, so when you need them to save your life, they work better.
Exercise, move, get up off your ass.
Pay attention to your body, don’t avoid doctors because you don’t want bad news. The longer you wait, the worse it gets. The older you get, the more issues you have. Doing the previous things above, makes this part much easier.
Put yourself first, if you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t take care of anyone else.
