MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
So…
They weren’t in an exclusive relationship.
She told him to walk ahead without her.
And he talked to someone else since she told him not to walk with her, someone he seems to have met while waiting for her at the summit before going down.
Kind of sounds like she broke off a situationship on a hike. And immediately assumed if he talked to any woman then he was romantically interested in her, so their open relationship was never going to work anyways.
Even the actual alpine one where the woman was left in a blizzard recently and died, her parents have come out and said the infantilizing of their daughter was an insult to her memory.
Like, it should be a safe bet that anything that starts on TimToknis bullshit.
But yeah, big outdoorsy trips aren’t for rocky relationships. Romantic or otherwise you need to be going with people you trust. Shit can get stressful and not everyone reacts well to stress. It’s not the same thing as the same distance walk thru the park.
You seem to be making a lot of assumptions there.
No, I just read the article…
What app/frontend do you use? It seems most people are missing the feature to open the source to read.
Yeah that situation seemed defensible on his part. But then the article comes in and outright says that in a lot of these cases it’s a failure of communication where the men aren’t thinking about it like that and in hindsight realized that they’d made a mistake.
That all said, I find it difficult to be sympathetic to these guys as someone who likes to hike with her wife. Even if I was annoyed she wasn’t able to keep up with me I can’t imagine ditching her even if she told me to. When I go hiking with someone or a group one of the major rules is that you never leave the weakest hiker alone unless it’s an emergency. You stick together and enjoy each other’s company
Wife is quite a different magnitude of commitment, in comparison to a non-exclusive non-girlfriend partner.
What? No it isn’t. This isn’t about personal relationships, it’s about responsibility during a dangerous hike.
So like, some lady I’m on an early date with? Yeah no different in general rule. If I take you into a situation that you aren’t individually comfortable in I’m an asshole for ditching you there alone, even if we decide we hate each other in the meantime
Doesn’t mean it’s ok to abandon your hiking partner whilst on the hike.
Like seriously, you think that it’s ok to treat someone terribly on a hike as long as they’re only a casual partner?
Depends on the hike’s safety.
But a wife gets a higher priority for safety than a casual partner to you?
None of you read it and are taking givesomefucks at his word about what’s in the article lol
Feel free to elaborate. Voyager let’s you read the article, in case you need it.
I did read it. And givesomefucks is absolutely adding his own spin and assumptions, most clearly where he’s asserting that the author and MJ were assuming her partner was romantically interested in the woman he met at the top and climbed back down with. That’s no where in the article.
Were there any other assumptions?
givesomefucks has no idea why the guy talked to someone else, he’s assuming it’s because his partner said to walk ahead.
Assuming the woman in the story did not trust her partner when planning the hike.
OK, so the bit where the poster says “sounds like” and not “he stated for the article” is the bit you see as not substantiated by the article? Everything else is accurate, except the bit were the poster uses a euphemism for “this is something that seems to me without explicit confirmation”. Had op said that as a fact, and with more examples, you would have a point. But as is… Nah
I bolded the part I was referencing.
It’s fine, you boys are busy jerking each other off about how stupid this woman was, so go on and continue.
Putting in that the woman in the story assumed her partner was romantically interested in the gal he met at the top that he climbed back down with is absolutely making assumptions. That kind of assumption is not in the article and you’re framing it as if she was being irrational.
Both her and the author thought it was important to note that it was gasp a woman that he talked to.
There’s a logical implication for why they both thought that was important enough to be included when retelling the story.
Saying that someone’s implication might not be true isn’t the same as making an assumption.
It’s literally the opposite…
You’re literally making an assumption.
Neither the author nor MJ said he was romantically interested in the other woman.
So then it’s not a big deal he talked to someone else after his date told him to leave her?
And he’s a good guy for ensuring she made it safely to the top before returning?
Like, what exactly do you think that guy did wrong then?
Because logically I have zero idea what you’re doing.
It’s a big deal that he started with a hiking partner and then abandoned her. It’s rude.
And hellesbelle was correct when they said you were making a lot of assumptions here.
A woman told her date to leave her…
And you think the man should have refused her request, and pestered her anyways while in an isolated area with no one else around…
Don’t even have to put yourself in a man’s shoes, or even another woman’s. Imagine you told a man to leave you in that situation and he said “no” and refused you’re valid request to be left alone.
How would you feel, in your own shoes.
How dare you!
With a male bias. Are you a misogynist by chance?
Are you a misandress, by chance?
maybe they’re just a man…