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sorry guys my ping is high
Don’t complain about getting fragged then
It’s either staying silent because you’re anxious and don’t want to be rude by interrupting people. So you’re just bored listening to a non stimulating conversation.
Or, the conversation is something you like a lot and you keep interrupting people and bothering them so the conversation ends.
The rare third option is you sync with another neuro atypical person and bounce back and forth with each other while everyone else stands their silent unable to follow a conversation that seems to make no sense. But makes perfect sense to you both.
My whole life!!! And if I can’t speak up then im gonna forget what I was gonna say lol
So many topics I’ve wanted to add to in my life. Lost in the oblivion of my brain forever…
Hey, the thoughts always return when it is pointless, you know, anywhere from an hour to days/weeks later when the other person has totally forgotten the convo
How many milliseconds pause should I wait before I start speaking? Or does it depend on culture/other factors?
If you don’t speak it was 300 ms less than you thought. Someone else said something and started a different topic.
If you do speak it was 300 ms more than you thought. You interrupted them and you’re an asshole.
literally me every day to the point a lot of people cut ties with me over this. Like, don’t pause for three straight seconds and then proceed to speak up again the MICROSECOND I talk!!
Try actually listening to the person speaking, instead of just waiting for your turn. There’s often clues to when there’s a pause, and when the person is done.
Yes, tell the neurodivergent individual to listen for social cues, because neurodivergent people are just so good at picking up on those, right? Not like having an innate inability to pick up on social cues is one of the most common traits of neurodivergent individuals.
We do listen to them. That’s why we want to comment on what they said but we literally cannot tell when it is appropriate to speak up and, for those with ADHD, if we don’t act on that thought immediately or hold it, and then be unable to continue paying attention to the conversation, we lose it.
I struggle with this with my son. I do my best, but being interrupted has been a peeve of mine for decades. Ultimately the social cue issues need to be worked at from both sides, it can’t all be one person’s burden or they’ll go mad.
You’re telling people with a disability that they have to work on their disability instead of accepting that you need to make accommodations and cope with them for the sake of those with disabilities to be able to comfortably exist in your presence.
It’s like telling someone with tourettes to just work on not ticking at inappropriate times or the blind to just work on being able to see. You make accommodations for them because you understand that they cannot change this aspect of themselves.
The symptom that is a lack of social acumen isn’t just a lack of effort where they need to try harder. It is a physical difference in their neurology that prevents them from being able to perceive these cues. We can’t just “work on it”.
Yes, it is a struggle but, remember, it is also a struggle for them to simply feel comfortable existing in social settings as a fundamental truth of their existence that they cannot change. You can learn to cope with the emotions you feel because you are dealing with someone with a disability that inconveniences you.
The best we can do is be as polite as we can that we have something that we want to say. It’s you that has to learn to cope that we with this disability cannot innately perceive your arbitrary social cues of when it is appropriate to interject our piece during a conversation.
literally me every day to the point a lot of people cut ties with me over this. Like, don’t pause for three straight seconds and then proceed to speak up again the MICROSECOND I “Remember when …” talk!!
