WoW! You actually need help. Its not an attack, i genuinely feel like there’s something wrong with you and you should see a therapist so that you can understand , accept and acknowledge the issue.
Are you autistic by any chance ? I feel like you have made “work” the purpose of your life. Like without cybersecurity, there’s no purpose in life.
I wish I could help you but I am no exoert. Please go see a therapist, please.
If i m being honest I’ve been told and also it looks like it - Never go to India. Its filled with Diseases , Poverty and unhygienic people.