This just happened and I’m not certain if this was a fair dismissal of a YouTube ad manifesting itself as ethanol or if my neurospicy just fired a nuke at Israel…
Liqueur girls slinging free jager shots at the bar: “want a shot?”
Me: ….no. I’m here to escape the capitalism. Go away.
Bartender: -glares- wut?
Liqueur girls: are you serious?
Me: I know what this is. You are working girls, just not the kind akron appreciates. I enjoy the product, but not the promotion. Please go away.
Bartender: -wide eyed-
Lady bystander: -dies laughing-
Liqueur whores: -furious, stomp off-
DO NOT ADVERTISE TO THE DRUNKEN NEURODIVERGENT
I have trouble with communication and often times the intensity knob is higher than it needs to be. Rarely out of anger; it’s just that I get deep into a subject sometimes and feel it. I have to treat it as a constant learning experience.
I also try to always remember that reacting is a choice. Tons of people and topics will be a trigger, but I know that in most cases I can simply remove myself from the equation and the frustration boils off eventually. I had to do that earlier today. I ran into a serial conversation hijacker-killer type in a Slack channel I’m a regular in. When I was talking about a struggle I have with learning and retaining information in the AI age, they instantly hijacked it to make it about them. I could’ve replied casually, lashed out, been passive aggressive. I caught myself, paused, and logged out of the Slack channel. Playing video games for a while brought me back to a more controlled headspace again.
I think I’m at a point where I need a therapist again. This was not okay. I feel like the concerta makes me mean. I’m the Rick Sanchez of my friend group. I don’t think I’m intelligent or capable. I’m just surrounded by idiots frequently so it just seems that way by comparison. But that’s not humble or respectful, it’s the opposite. And it’s mean.
I got on the concerta after vyvance was perfect but I acclimated to it inside a week and it had literally zero effect after that. I thought that I going from perfection to starting over inside a week meant this was going to be an abusable drug and I should try something else but this generic concerta makes me feel just mean all the fucking time.
I hurt those girls because I have a hang up on advertisements and knew exactly where to point a sharp stick without even stopping to think what that meant.
I’m the problem