Editor’s note: this is a post about American Independence Day celebrations
existentialmemes
Alright, I’m going to launch explosives around your house. For several hours. Yes it is dangerous and terrible for wildlife and the environment. And yes your pets will get sick from eating the debris and you will feel terrorized inside your own home.
No you can’t opt out of it. Everyone is doing it and frankly it’s weird that you don’t want to.
No you can’t be the one launching the explosives you need a license for that. You can however launch these marginally smaller ones though. Yeah just whenever you want. 2am sounds great.
So anyway, fireworks were a mistake and it’s never too early to start reminding you of that.
Had a shooting in my neighborhood a few months back. Multiple neighbors reported it, but the police dragged their feet to investigate because it was being written off as “just someone playing with fireworks again”. Family annihilation. Really grizzly depressing stuff.
Anyway, you still see folks popping off in the group chat every time we hear a loud bang, because everyone’s trying to figure out if it’s fireworks or more gunshots.
On the flip side…
We’ve been able to do these for nearly a decade. They’re less expensive. They’re more artistic. They don’t have all that ugly smog the next day. And you don’t need to terrorize every dog in the neighborhood to put them on.