Editor’s note: this is a post about American Independence Day celebrations
existentialmemes
Alright, I’m going to launch explosives around your house. For several hours. Yes it is dangerous and terrible for wildlife and the environment. And yes your pets will get sick from eating the debris and you will feel terrorized inside your own home.
No you can’t opt out of it. Everyone is doing it and frankly it’s weird that you don’t want to.
No you can’t be the one launching the explosives you need a license for that. You can however launch these marginally smaller ones though. Yeah just whenever you want. 2am sounds great.
So anyway, fireworks were a mistake and it’s never too early to start reminding you of that.
I know you think your heart is in the right place but can we please have at least one nice thing? One fun thing? Feel at least one nice thing about where we live? Just one thing that we don’t get guilt tripped over, when bigger, worse things are happening by bigger, worse people? Do you have to try to ruin something to make yourself feel better, more lefty, more woke? Or do you have to ruin things for other people because you personally don’t like it?
If your “one nice thing” is setting off explosives outside my house strong enough to rattle the fuckin dishes in my cabinet, then no, you can’t have one nice thing. There are so many fireworks out there that don’t ruin your neighbors’ evenings. Get fountains and sparklers and bottle rockets. Your fun should not come at someone else’s expense
The tearful narcissist “Why won’t you let me hurt you because I like it?? YOU’RE BEING AN ASSHOLE.”
You’re not enjoying this? Well I am so fuck you.
I love speeding down the highway. That pedestrian I hit ruined my fun.
An extremely American holiday
When your one nice and fun thing directly removes someone else’s nice and fun things, your nice and fun thing sucks.
Your enjoyment of things cannot exist by removing other people’s happiness. Fireworks trigger severe PTSD, cause pets a lot of anxiety, and can literally kill them.
If your fun activity is killing dogs and sending humans into a massive panic attack, your fun thing kind of fucking sucks ass and you should stop doing it.