The silence in my mind was amazing, the calm was as far as I could reach. I could summon a thought into my otherwise blank workspace, and it would stay there until I was done with it, never being jostled or shoved by unbidden thoughts.
It was lovely.
My neurotypical friends were jazzed about being high; I felt normalcy for the first time.
Am I the only one who doesn’t like this feeling? I got meds a couple years back, tried them for a couple days, and just hated it. They definitely did what they were supposed to do… I just hated it.
When I first got a prescription, I tried my first pill. Nothing happened. I was starting to get annoyed.
And then I realized the dialog going on inside my head: it was just a calm, noiseless wave. No preemptive anxiety. No static of overlapping thoughts. Just quiet. Absolutely amazing. Perfect 5/7.
I don’t think it’s emotionless. It’s just deliberate. As much as I personally enjoy the sort of vibrance that noise brings, its capacity to distract from the focus required to do a task that lasts more than 30 seconds is undeniable. It doesn’t make me any less creative or thoughtful, it just finally gives me the capacity to choose where the thoughts go.
One time I took an illicitly-offered adderall.
The silence in my mind was amazing, the calm was as far as I could reach. I could summon a thought into my otherwise blank workspace, and it would stay there until I was done with it, never being jostled or shoved by unbidden thoughts.
It was lovely.
My neurotypical friends were jazzed about being high; I felt normalcy for the first time.
Am I the only one who doesn’t like this feeling? I got meds a couple years back, tried them for a couple days, and just hated it. They definitely did what they were supposed to do… I just hated it.
So I don’t take them
When I first got a prescription, I tried my first pill. Nothing happened. I was starting to get annoyed.
And then I realized the dialog going on inside my head: it was just a calm, noiseless wave. No preemptive anxiety. No static of overlapping thoughts. Just quiet. Absolutely amazing. Perfect 5/7.
Nice to see that someone besides me knows how to properly score stuff
That was me doing coke or speed. Wow, this is quite relaxing
Same. It was honestly amazing, but I also didn’t feel like myself. I’m not sure I want to live out my life feeling like an emotionless zombie.
I don’t think it’s emotionless. It’s just deliberate. As much as I personally enjoy the sort of vibrance that noise brings, its capacity to distract from the focus required to do a task that lasts more than 30 seconds is undeniable. It doesn’t make me any less creative or thoughtful, it just finally gives me the capacity to choose where the thoughts go.