As stories of men leaving their dates in ‘sketchy situations’ go viral, experts say these incidents could stem from big egos and poor communication

MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.

Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.

As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.

When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)

Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.

  • Donebrach@lemmy.worldEnglish
    615·
    19 hours ago

    Maybe “MJ” herself is a shitty person, and roped some equally shitty dude into a shitty time and he decided on the way up “fuck this lady” on a probably very easy day hike and ditched her.

    • Doom@lemmy.worldEnglish
      302·
      17 hours ago

      DUDE! I hike. If you leave together, you FUCKING come back together. YOU want to break up, put on your big boy panties and do it AFTER everyone is home safe.

      Also there is no such thing as “an easy day hike.” Anything can go wrong in the wilderness and lackadaisical thinking is what gets people killed.

        • Doom@lemmy.worldEnglish
          142·
          18 hours ago

          I don’t care if they were the worst people on earth walking the easier hiking path on the nicest day of the year. None of that matters! They left on a hike TOGETHER, and needed to return TOGETHER.

          Full stop.

          Anyone who can’t follow that one simple rule has no business out on the trails.

    • Doomsider@lemmy.worldEnglish
      182·
      19 hours ago

      Maybe she was shitty, but we know he was. You never abandon your hiking partner under any circumstances.

      Reminds me of people going out and drinking and abandoning their friend who then gets SA. It is import to go out with good people not superficial cunts.

      If you don’t like them then don’t hike with them again. It is that simple unless you are a sociopath.

      • Donebrach@lemmy.worldEnglish
        49·
        19 hours ago

        The fact that he was reported to “hike down with some other woman.” And that she was able to complete the hike herself tells me it was a very easy trail and heavily populated. Just a dumb story of two assholes one of which decided to make her shitty date into an avenue of internet content for the hopeful attempt at gaining some influence. The dude was probably just annoyed and childishly trying to cause an issue with her and was like “I’m gonna walk the half mile down the 0 grade dirt path to the car with Stacy, babe.”

        • Doomsider@lemmy.worldEnglish
          133·
          19 hours ago

          You don’t abandon someone period unless you are a sociopath. I get that you would abandon someone and let them die, get raped, assaulted, etc.

          Choose your friends/partners very carefully.

          We are just built differently I guess.

          • dandelion (she/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
            121·
            19 hours ago

            it’s not like the article or the phenomenon of “alpine divorces” rests on this single story, either, there were many stories shared in the article:

            an amateur Austrian mountaineer was found guilty of gross negligence manslaughter for leaving his exhausted girlfriend behind on his country’s highest peak while he went in search of help. The man, a Salzburg chef identified only as Thomas P, said he was “endlessly sorry” for her death, and his lawyer called it a “tragic accident”. But Thomas P could not explain why he failed to wrap his freezing girlfriend in her emergency blanket before heading down the mountain without her. Earlier in their trek he had also told a police officer over the phone that they did not need any help, even though a rescue helicopter was made available to them.

            A former girlfriend testified that Thomas P had left her behind on a trail during a hike in 2023 – “so that was the last mountain expedition we undertook together”, she said.

            or

            A few years ago, Naomi was hiking Arches national park in Utah when her group noticed a woman lying on the ground in distress.

            The woman told them she suffered from severe vertigo – not ideal given the park’s topography – and her date had gone to retrieve his camera after she accidentally dropped it into the bowl near Delicate Arch. “There was no way she was going to get out by herself, and we hiked with her back down to the trailhead,” Naomi said. On the way, they learned that she was on a “second or third date” with the man. “We were asking her, like, ‘So … this might be the last date, huh?’”

          • Donebrach@lemmy.worldEnglish
            29·
            18 hours ago

            Oh no! If you leave a woman behind in any location she gets raped and murdered immediately!

            I’m not saying abandon someone on a fucking backpacking trip in the deep country; just saying this story reeks of a rich old-millennial/young-Gen X content creator causing a noise to make some content for their socials and not a genuine “trend” of men abandoning women on fucking glaciers.

                • Doomsider@lemmy.worldEnglish
                  92·
                  18 hours ago

                  Naw, I have gone out and made sure people get back safely more times than you can imagine. We are just different.

                  • Donebrach@lemmy.worldEnglish
                    29·
                    18 hours ago

                    Lord of Backback Lord over here. Guessing you were born in the wilderness. moulded by it. No one can hold one candle to your greatness. I apologize.

                    I can only ever leave everyone behind as I can only see in front of myself. The power you hold is truly special and I grovel before your magnificence and ability to find all lost souls and bring them from the .02 mile marker back to the parking lot.

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      71·
      16 hours ago

      Looking at this comment thread, I’m beginning to think the real shitty people of this story are those who think the wilderness isn’t dangerous. The only saving grace is that your opinion doesn’t seem to be the majority.

      • Smoogs@lemmy.worldEnglish
        61·
        16 hours ago

        Yup fuck so many assheads who are in here with such a dismissal of life of another person. It’s fucking gross and disgusting here.