Hey! Almost two years into my first poly relationship with two other people. I went in when they had already been a couple for some years now, and that has brought some insecurities, but we’ve been able to talk through them.
If you’re up to try, that’s great! But I have to warn you that there will be a lot of communication and misunderstandings, setting boundaries and constant work for you and your partners to be better people and better partners.
For me it has been quite hard, because I:'very accidentally crossed boundaries through misunderstandings and that has brought a lot of harm, but I’ve also learned a lot and live them very much.
It was sometimes a lack of communication, sometimes problems with our neurodivergences and how we understand relationships, etc…
Most of them though were out of ignorance. I had a lot of toxic ways of talking or acting that had been normalized by everyone all my life, so I didn’t realise they were toxic. I’m still working on it now, and it’s better, but it has taken a lot of introspection and deconstruction.
I think that one of the most important things polyamory has taught me is that nothing has to last forever. So now, I feel safe even if I fuck up , because I know that even if I lose my current relationship because of it I have done my best and learned from it, and keep learning in the future, without the need of breaking up on bad terms.
Good luck! If you have any question I’m glad to help ^^.
Thanks for sharing and for offering to answer any questions! I like the thing you said about you’re outlook changing about “nothing has to last forever” 💜
Hey! Almost two years into my first poly relationship with two other people. I went in when they had already been a couple for some years now, and that has brought some insecurities, but we’ve been able to talk through them.
If you’re up to try, that’s great! But I have to warn you that there will be a lot of communication and misunderstandings, setting boundaries and constant work for you and your partners to be better people and better partners.
For me it has been quite hard, because I:'very accidentally crossed boundaries through misunderstandings and that has brought a lot of harm, but I’ve also learned a lot and live them very much.
Good luck on your journey and lots of love!
Thanks for your comment!
Were the times you accidentally crossed boundaries due to a lack of prior communication or something else? No need to reply if it’s private :)
It was sometimes a lack of communication, sometimes problems with our neurodivergences and how we understand relationships, etc…
Most of them though were out of ignorance. I had a lot of toxic ways of talking or acting that had been normalized by everyone all my life, so I didn’t realise they were toxic. I’m still working on it now, and it’s better, but it has taken a lot of introspection and deconstruction.
I think that one of the most important things polyamory has taught me is that nothing has to last forever. So now, I feel safe even if I fuck up , because I know that even if I lose my current relationship because of it I have done my best and learned from it, and keep learning in the future, without the need of breaking up on bad terms.
Good luck! If you have any question I’m glad to help ^^.
Thanks for sharing and for offering to answer any questions! I like the thing you said about you’re outlook changing about “nothing has to last forever” 💜