hazel

Avoiding character ambiguity is a very cool and normal thing to do.

This is precisely what I meant, and I’m glad it came across. 💙

I judge entire neighbourhoods on how amenable cats are. If a cat chilling on the footpath is pleased to meet me, then I’m calm. If a cat sitting 50 meters away from me responds to my friendly greeting chirp by backing under the nearest car with flat ears and a sunken tail, I assume the humans around it are garbage people and I need to get out. Cats are to the streets as frogs are to the rivers.

I don’t think we’re capable of looking very far afield, to be fair. Space is pretty big. I read that somewhere.

Honestly. What are the chances that in the entire universe, there is no ecosystem that has led to the evolution of an organism indistinguishable from our Earth cats?

People ask why I triple every recipe. This is why.

Ew, girl I can still see your eye craters. Get some fillers or something.

It felt longer than it was because of the way it was covered by the media. On the last season of The Mushroom Killer…

they felt hurt because they did not think my enthusiasm was genuine

I can see myself encountering this issue, and the other person would be right. My enthusiasm is very often fake. My “I’m really enjoying this” face is the one you see in my avatar. Faking reactions to things is how I go through life.

When the car stereo says “chapter five” and you realise you haven’t heard the last four chapters of your audio book.

You can say “battleship” here. It’s fine.

The prospect of leaving behind a man’s corpse if I were to die now.

Front end dev fully turned towards the back end dev, drinking a juice box, happy to let them take all the attention so no one asks him difficult questions like why a deprecated component (the green bike’s chain) is hanging around creating a potential safety hazard while doing nothing useful. Back end dev awkwardly skirting the matter of a snowballing reliance on SQL stored proc spaghetti until finally one matter arises on which they can both speak confidently and in unison. How does this clusterfuck stack fit together? “REST API”.

ITT: “go to the vet”. Please give us closure now. Have you been to the vet?

There’s no mention of a cool down. You can repeat it as soon as you’ve fully materialised at the first 7–inch destination. Assuming teleportation is immediate, and there’s no refractory period, the distance limit is effectively meaningless.