If you haven’t read Dungeon Crawler Carl, you should. Chistera bombs are integral to the plot.

If only it weren’t for those damned Hobbits.

“You see this, Sharon? If this shit goes wrong, Mr, Teddy gets the claws. I swear on my toe beans it will be a blizzard of entrails the likes you’ve never seen. You’ll be pulling teddy bear innards out of the lint trap for the rest of your life.”

Is there any bonus for hitting 4/5?

Sometimes you have to induce.

Edit: If I had a nickel for every pregnancy pun I’ve made today, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t much, but it’s weird that it happened twice…

Execution leaves a little to be desired, but I like where their head was. A dense, moist spice cake inside of a pumpkin would probably be really fucking good.

That’s from rolls of excess skin, when you pull, the fur stays in the same shape, but the skin beneath flattens. Could be overweight, could just be older loose skin.

Wow, you’re just trying to stir up shit, huh?

Let me quote myself so you can see just how terrible your reading comprehension is.

We need to work together on a global scale to hold countries accountable for what their citizens do on the internet.

Did I mention barring anyone from the internet? Nope. Sure didn’t. What I said was that countries need to be held accountable for what their citizens do on a global scale when it comes to the internet just like they are in any other situation. I’m not saying only other counties. I’m not saying only African countries. So, please, take your bullshit and go feed it to someone else, because I don’t have the patience for it.

When we created the internet we achieved global unity, but we just… stopped. There is no NATO for cybercrimes. We can’t punish across borders, and we can’t rely on countries where cybercrime is a not insignificant portion of their economy to do the right thing. At this point the best we can do is bar the doors and keep children and other vulnerable people off the internet, but that is hardly a proper solution. We need to work together on a global scale to hold countries accountable for what their citizens do on the internet. If we don’t, we might as well just pull the plug on it, because this shit has only been getting worse.

Gorge and neatly digest all living felines?

They’re just bodies for the machine

They didn’t call in an outside vet to investigate. The fucking zoo keepers are vets. The zoo keepers are telling you what happened. You can believe them or not, but it’s not accountability.

Tell me, what was the purpose of your comment? What are you trying to say?

I’m not saying that it’s a conspiracy against fireworks, but possibly a problem with the habitat, food, or something else that would cause big issues for the zoo if discovered. The fireworks were convenient. I have zero evidence for this other than the fact that a lot of zoos are complete cesspools, and so I typically don’t trust “suddenly died” followed three days later by another “suddenly died” regardless of how many fireworks were launched off.

Also, there is this line:

Roxie had access to her den but the frightening noises seem to have been too much for her.

Seems like the zoo just left a weak animal to suffer instead of taking precautions to assure that the panda was placed in a safe location. It makes me doubt that anyone was even there, and that the zookeepers returned the following day to a dead red panda and tried to cover it up.

I’m dubious. Mom dies suddenly, then baby dies suddenly after choking on it’s own vomit. Yeah, no, let’s blame the fireworks. Surely, nothing else could be the cause of Red Panda deaths at this zoo.

I feel this. For you dunces that order $10 worth of ranch to go when could just buy a bottle…

Really? That’s the third time today. It’s gonna fall off…

Jews for Hitler ask Hitler to rethink concentration camp idea.

Do we have to shake? I’m good for a few, but my hand is gonna slip at some point and then that person is gonna tell everyone else how bad I am at shaking hands. Also, don’t your hands get chapped doing that too much? I cook a lot, so I use my hands often. Should I wear gloves? Is that rude? Will they talk about that?

I had 7 downvotes before the edit. The next 30 have no excuse. They support the clergy and their persecution of the gays™