Can’t get any more credible than that. 😎

I can only imagine that the writers at The Onion are going insane because they just can’t compete with reality anymore.

Oh, they’re amazing. I really like Wisteria Floribunda. I feel like they compliment each other.

Treewave sounds like a fucking vibe.

Gotta get a trainer with a weighted dull plastic blade before you graduate to the real thing. Helps avoid this predicament.

Welp, I’ve got something new to watch over the extended weekend. I’m ready to love Leon.

Not in my area, according to this convenient banner ad.

Small button, big surprises.

Sauce?

Macarthur can eat a bag of dicks, that prick. Ridgeway all day.

Proof that thicc thighs save lives. Also, the shark face on the thigh highs was an excellent touch.

Man, you guys really know how to kick a guy when he’s down. Time to grind for enough of a living to dissociate into the past! Goodbye cruel reality!

And when you have 2 Maw-Maws under the same roof, hellfire upon those who dare not to have a second plate.

Bruh, start charging at a booth and never have to serve food again.

The state appreciates your sacrifice, comrade.

Shit, the guy lost 50 years?! Might as well just fucking end it for him since you stole his WHOLE FUCKING LIFE!

Don’t fear the reaper

The first section made my nose bleed.

What in the everliving fuck is going on here?!

I showed you my stalk, pls respond.