It’s crazy that I can’t tell if it’s bait from a pretty good troll, a real supporter of the racist in chief himself who believes this shit, or a supporter who is trolling because their real life is kind of pathetic. They all kind of sound the same at this point. But the fact that whoever it is went down the comment chain to reply to you instead of just those who took the bait points to 1 or 3.
I worked at an MSP for years and had clients who would send it back and forth that way to each other. The most common were medical practices, but banking wasn’t far behind.
Fax was considered secure because you could lock up the fax machine physically.
My favorite setup was a medical practice that dealt with stomach issues, including colon cancer, and their neighbor in the same building who was a pathology lab. They both had the PDF to fax and fax to PDF servers set up to send back and forth when someone could just walk 50 feet and hand over paperwork.
I was never undiagnosed, but otherwise I know exactly how you feel. Other than saying see a medical professional if possible I don’t have advice because what worked for me may not work for you, but I can offer some words of encouragement.
You’re not alone. I remember being there. There are lists (that are way too fucking long for people with executive function disorders for some reason) of coping strategies everywhere, so maybe switch it up and get some novelty. If possible get in therapy before the depression. It’s fucking hard but you can make it. I believe in you.
You keep saying that but I told you I don’t have a wife. It’s just me and you, buddy.
You’re getting the big info dump. It’s not everything, but it’s a lot because this whole topic makes me feel some kind of way. This is your warning.
TL;DR: I don’t feel night and day different but my life is night and day different.
For me going on Adderall for the first time took a week or two to adjust to. I was self medicating on a crazy amount of caffeine at the time and had to taper off to a more normal amount. After that it’s like my brain got quiet. Not empty, but not the thousand competing thoughts dragging me in different directions. I already had coping mechanisms so it’s not like I did that much better. Things got easier. Even my depression subsided because I was just able to get shit done without absolutely exhausting myself and missing out on so much because I didn’t have anything left over in the tank after all the things I had to do.
Suddenly I had energy for some hobbies. I could finish writing and play music. I could learn woodworking. I could learn more than basic motorcycle maintenance. I could learn things that furthered my career. These were all things I had a basic working knowledge of or had started and given up over and over again. I published an album. I wrote for two industry publications that got a pretty wide release. I built things.
Then I went off it. I wrote awesome music that I never finished. I couldn’t build anymore, I didn’t have the focus. I started a hundred projects and despaired that I couldn’t finish shit unless my paycheck counted on it. I didn’t go back to caffeine.
Then I got on Vyvanse. I did all the cool shit I was doing before and finished my projects again. I learned how to be a DJ and how to run sound for live music. I went out and either played or DJed or KDJed 5 nights a week.
Then came the pandemic and the shortages. They’d have one medication and not the other. They’d have the wrong dose. They’d be out. So I gave up and focused on my job. I started playing video games again, which is a nice hobby because I never felt like I was fucking up by not finishing a game. I started riding my motorcycle more and found that when my attention was on not getting run over by cars my mind got quiet again. So I got a bagger as a second motorcycle and started taking longer trips. I spent time in the woods. If I was occupied trying to fish to be able to eat I could concentrate. And I worked with my therapist on more depression coping mechanisms. I forced showers if it had been longer than two days because that was always the onset of not getting out of bed. I lived and died by my notepad because my memory went to hell.
Now I’m back on Adderall XR. I just made an album worth of rock beats for a buddy because he’s recording his own album based on his own demons (he needs it too, but he’s not in a place…I know you’re reading this and I see you, friend…check our shared server storage, all of them are out there). I bought a third motorcycle last month that I’m going to fix up as a project and sell. Except what should have been six months with a dead motorcycle is almost done. I’m playing shows again. I’m running sound for a well known rock band next weekend, filling in for someone who is going on vacation.
It’s not immediately night and day for me, but I feel happier, less stressed, and quieter. So I’m able to actually do the hundred things I started ages ago. No one is waiting on me. I’m so far ahead at work that I’m not going to be doing anything but attending meetings for the next two weeks. I am accomplishing more than I could ever dream without medication.
And on the weekends it’s fun to let the chaos out. I don’t want it quiet in my brain all the time. I get creative, I try dumb shit, I drink an unhealthy amount, and I’ll come up with another bunch of things I want to try. Then I’ll get medicated and try them.
I took today off because I had a crazy weekend that I spent medicated and doing things and have no work. So I’m unmedicated today. You’re getting a big ol’ helping of unmedicated TexasDrunk. I over explained and probably did a shit job but it made me happy, so thanks for the opportunity!
I like different mes on different days. Work days I prefer medicated. Weekend days where I have a lot of activities I want to do, I prefer medicated. Any non-work day where my plans are “be in the woods”, “start drinking at noon”, or “ride the motorcycle for hours” demand an unmedicated me for maximum chaos (or absolutely nothing…I never know until it happens).
I wasn’t on medication until I was a whole ass adult. Even then I was on and off it for a while. When the shortage was at its worst the stress of finding or not knowing if I was getting medication was worse than being unmedicated so I was off it for a while then.
I like both medicated me and chaos agent me. They’re both cool guys for different reasons.
The funniest part is I had the diagnosis as a kid but no one did anything about it. They were just trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I got rediagnosed as an adult and got on medication.
I guess knowing about it meant I didn’t have to spend years trying to figure out why I was considered gifted but couldn’t get shit done.
That would be a nightmare for tattoo shops.
(For those that don’t know, many tattoo shops have Friday 13th deals with specific flash you can get for multiples of $13 depending on complexity. The quality ones have new cute Friday 13th flash a couple of times a year and lines around the block.)
That’s been my entire career in computing. I was a director at a small company until it got bought out because they kept promoting me for jumping in with both feet and figuring shit out.
With disabled hardware decoding.
Y’all gotta stop calling me out like this.
Also USA. My teachers ran the gamut from not letting anyone to treating us like adults. My school was VERY white with only a handful of black kids across all of high school. One of the teachers was well known for never letting the black kids go until one of them went and peed in his trash can to prove a point.
The ones who treated us like adults got treated with the most respect. Weird how that works.
Might I suggest Motel of the Mysteries? It’s about a future amateur archeologist excavating a modern day motel room and absolutely being 100% correct about everything he sees.
I’ve had to explain to three different people that they’re not getting a production window on Christmas Eve. I’m the only person in the office from the day after Christmas until January 2.
There’s nothing like a good al pastor, and that is nothing like a good al pastor.
I don’t know why I had it in my head that you were one of the other Texans around, sorry about that.
Aren’t you a fellow Texan? I’ve seen all kinds of crazy shit here, even in places like South Padre. There’s just something about that burrito that seems like a burrito made for someone who has never seen a burrito. And possibly by someone who only heard one described.
I have a bunch of hobbies but the two that I’m currently concentrating on are building guitars and working on motorcycles.
There are plenty of people who build or customize guitars for a living. I have sold exactly one that I built from scratch and that was probably 15 years ago.
I’m resurrecting a barn find motorcycle that I’ll sell (or I’ll sell one of mine to keep this, I haven’t decided), but I’m not going to make any money on it because it’s not sought after. I’m doing it for love. I’ll break even.