I want to see a video of this one’s magazine blowing up.

Just according to keikaku

I know pretty much zero russian, but I choose to read that the first bit of bold text there reads “Bacon”.

…so, it checks out as a suicide manual. Death by bacon is pretty slow, though.

Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean, brood of Morgoth or bright Vala, Elda or Maia or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor’s kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh, finding keepeth or afar casteth a Silmaril. This swear we all: death we will deal him ere Day’s ending, woe unto world’s end! Our word hear thou, Eru Allfather! To the everlasting Darkness doom us if our deed failethBe he foe or friend, be he foul or clean, brood of Morgoth or bright Vala, Elda or Maia or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor’s kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh, finding keepeth or afar casteth a Silmaril. This swear we all: death we will deal him ere Day’s ending, woe unto world’s end! Our word hear thou, Eru Allfather! To the everlasting Darkness doom us if our deed faileth. On the holy mountain hear in witness and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda! On the holy mountain hear in witness and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda!

And if not that, the RIAA missiles will intercept them mid-flight and then send a cease-and-desist missile back to the source.

Holy shit. I just realised that the reason they’re building the ELT is so they can mount it on a missile and shoot down an F-35 at some point.

For bonus points shoot it into deep space. Maybe some alien civilization will run into it trillions of years from now.

1 to Sauron, 3 to the elves, 7 to dwarves, 9 to humans.

3+7 = 9+1

Sauron shipped a himself and a bunch of humans with elves and dwarves.

but

"🙂".reverse() == "🙃"

Hey guys, I just heard somewhere that they renamed the Kremlin to Kharkiv?

I’m not one to kink-shame, but why are you shitting in a pot of oil in the first place?

I forget the exact wording, but the Ring essentially showed Sam visions of being some sort of a supreme gardener king. Sam dismissed that as fucking stupid, because he just wants a simple garden.