ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠

Damn, I don’t even need to edit to make you look bad.

What’s your opinion on the designated hitter rule in professional baseball?

Isn’t it? How often would you guess it works for me?

Playing videogames “for ten minutes” to give myself a break from frustration.

You’re not wrong, but I do this with text messages too, old blog posts, and even mentally replay verbal conversations.

I do resent when it’s used as a hook to get me in front of ads, though.

Every day. Reliable dopamine hit.

I know we have maps like that for the (publicly accessible) tunnels under Chicago, I’m sure someone has done the same for your city.

I wear my hair long, but I get it undercut in the summer and then let the sides get saggy again staring late fall.

I don’t! Mine isn’t integrated. I edit the code in one software and compile and run it in another.

They take offense because “wanting nothing from them” implies that they have nothing to offer. Even if this is true, it’s still rude to imply.

And yeah, pretty much the only way to get needy conversationalists off your back is to throw them a bone once in a while, even if it’s only a “ooh that’s rough, but whatcha gonna do?” or a “not bad, yourself?”

Okay, first off, fellow introvert here:

The problem you’re describing isn’t really an introvert-extrovert thing, it’s a sociable-antisocial thing. I think your gender dynamics theory has some merit, too, but what you need to understand is that, before, you were acting antisocial.

Ignoring people is antisocial, and moreso when it’s people talking about their feelings. To you that was worthless drama but to them it was their emotional experience. Now you’re engaging; and yes, with hostility, but at least there’s communication and connection.

And in my experience, a lot of more blunt people have trouble telling passive-aggression apart from a more indirect communication style. “Did you email Bob from shipping yet?” is very blunt, to the point of rudeness. “It’s important that Shipping is up-to-date on these developments, Bob is their point person” is much less confrontational.

So I’d say it’s not being a jerk that’s improved your situation, it’s matching communication styles with your teammates.

It sounds like I would be thinking about conversations indefinitely if I did that. Any tips???

No, that’s pretty much it, think about conversations indefinitely. After a while it’s pretty automatic, people aren’t all that different from each other.

a narcissist is self-absorbed

an asshole actively enjoys the suffering of others

Think further before, don’t wait for the middle of a conversion. Run potential future conversations through in your mind before you even see these coworkers and decide in advance how you’ll respond to various topics so you don’t have to do it in the moment.

You can do this in front of a mirror to practice the body language you want to project, as well.

By chance, are you located in the Midwest? Or neurodivergent? Because Midwesterners really aren’t comfortable with most kinds of explicit negative emotional displays, and there are very specific ways to indicate negative emotions appropriately. And IME most NTs are distressed by the way NDs tend to express anxiety.

If I could sum up all of what I’ve said into one sentence, it’d be: Stop displaying anxiety to your coworkers.

No, I pull it back when I eat. And when I cook or serve food.

Ah shit, thanks for reminding me.

My reddit username was u/nemo_sum, I modded a few subreddits, someone apparently took umbrage with either something I said as a user or one of my modactions, and took to commenting in those subs as u/nemo_sum_is_gay.

I don’t consider that an insult and they weren’t breaking any rules, so I just left them alone until they got bored of it. Took about three months.

Back on reddit, someone made a parody account of me. That’s the closest I’ve come.

take off your shoes and drive barefoot for maximum control, then change back into shoes for your workday

I try to be nice to all users.

Even ones who put catsup on hotdogs.