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4th times the charm, right?

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Joined 7 months ago
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Cake day: August 20th, 2024

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  • I have quit sugar, caffeine, nicotine, weed, and am trying to get my alcohol consumption under control.

    Sugar was almost automatic. I just don’t have much of a sweet tooth, so consciously avoiding sugar was really easy. I can’t say I’ve noticed much of a difference since, although overly sugary things like Coke now taste disgusting, and I can immediately tell when something has been sweetened with sugar, even if it’s really subtle. It’s like a 6th sense. You’ll be surprised at the stupid shit people put sugar into. Pickles, mustard, tomato sauce… these things do not need sugar!

    Caffeine had the most intense withdrawal effects. The caffeine headache is unlike any other headache I’ve ever had, and I’m a migraine sufferer. The brainfog was horrible too. Coming out the other side is great though. Plus having a coffee from that point on is a fucking glorious experience.

    Nicotine took me years, and I wouldn’t have accomplished it without switching to vaping first. I’ve written about this before but that makes it sound easier than it was. There were many many many failed attempts before I put down the vape for good. This one has had the best benefits though. You don’t realise how good breathing is until you’re fully quit for a while.

    Weed was really not my choice. I really really overdid it, and I now can’t touch the stuff. I’ve tried, and it’s always a terrible time. I just withdraw inwards and become an anxious, paranoid mess. What’s worse is it takes me days to recover as well. Doesn’t matter how little I have or how “no really this weed is super mellow dude” it is, I consistently have a bad time now. I miss this one the most. I used to really enjoy what it was like in the beginning.

    Alcohol is my fucking kryptonite. I cannot get it under control. I think my only option at this point is really to go teetotal. it’s not really bad enough for me to what to be so drastic with it though. I’m not an angry drunk, I don’t spend more than I can afford on it, it’s not really negatively affecting my life… I just drink too much and too often, and I worry for my health.











  • So am I honestly, but to be fair, that place was a dump.

    The foundations were subsiding, so the whole flat was on a pretty significant lean. I’m not exaggerating when I say it was easily 5 degrees off level. Think Lilly and Marshall’s apartment in HIMYM.

    The building itself was 3 stories. I was on 2nd, and the 3rd was completely uninhabitable due to the roof being swiss cheese. I knew I was about to get kicked out when the ceiling started leaking in my bedroom whenever it rained.

    I could go on and on. The electrics were sketchy, my toilet leaked into the downstairs kitchen, etc etc etc. It really was trash, and would have probably cost millions to repair.

    The tree itself was causing structural issues as well. It’s hard to explain, so I’ve attached an aerial view. (You might need to view it on my instance.) The grey line was a concrete retaining wall for the grassy terrace thing. You can see that the tree was right up against the house, further damaging it. I’ve also tried to illustrate what it was doing to the stairs so you can get an idea of what it was like.

    All in all, I understand why it had to go, but it still makes me sad. And not just because the flat was so cheap I could afford to live by myself in my 20s, 5 minutes from the CBD


  • I used to live in a rickety flat that had a single old creaky staircase to get up to the front door, and a little grassy terrace area. Only I really ever used the grassy bit. The stairs had a pohutakawa tree growing essentially right through them, making walking up or down them hazardous. Especially when drunk.

    I would not classify that period of my life to be “happy” by any stretch, but that tree signified being “home.” It was like the guardian to my space. A physical barrier between me and the shitshow that was the rest of the world at that time. An almost literal gatekeeper (many people were too scared to walk up the stairs lol)

    Added bonus, year end holidays, and the height of summer were vividly and brightly different thanks to the red needles they drop everywhere around that time.

    It wasn’t until the landlord told me he was planning to have it cut down, and I had an almost physical reaction that I realized how much I loved that tree. I managed to convince him not to have it cut down until after I’d left.

    Both the tree and the flat are now gone. A multi million dollar new build is there now.