Ours speaks in riddles but I’m really bad at riddles so I’m still unsure of why we hired him in the first place. The last town wizard conjured unspeakable entities and was really good at making balloon animals.

And it made about as much sense as having a pissing section in a public pool.

I remember in the early-mid 90’s going to pizza hut with my family to cash in one of those sweet book club free pizza stamps and the smoking section always being packed with other families. The other kids would be playing and having a fun time while all the adults enjoyed their refreshing delicious cigarettes while everyone ate. There was no real, “smoking or non-smoking” section. It’s was a smoke filled restaurant with the option to sit shoulder to shoulder with someone smoking a cig or being a few feet away from said smokers.

Here’s the thing tho. Nobody thinks about you even 1% of what you think they do. It seems like youre saying, “I need validation and want to be a part of the bigger world outside my own” which is totally fair. It’s even healthy, especially when compared to escapism and isolation. If your actions and behavior cause people to have a negative reaction, i.e. jealousy, obsessions, I encourage you to reevaluate what’s within yourself that desires that negative attention. People will think of you far far more if your behavior and actions gives those around you positive reactions. Trade the desire to make them jealous for inspiring them by being a healthy, upstanding rolemodel. Trade “I” statements for “you” questions. People crave and are drawn to those who show an interest in them, just as you admit to in this post. Make the world a better place, not a more anxious place and you’ll find all that attention you desire becomes a far more reasonably attainable goal.

Back in the mid 90’s, I won a “Rocko’s Modern Life,” t-shirt from a Nickelodeon contest. It was one where you’d have to call a phone # when his face would pop up in the bottom corner or something like that for like 10 seconds. Caller # whatever, could win the grand prize or whatever but I got a tee. Wore that shirt with pride all the fucking time.

Bonus footage- Here’s my chubby little sunshine babe in said princess bed.

My baby girl is named Penny too! Perfect name for a classy lady.

*she’s currently in my lap purring as hard as she possibly can while I drink my morning coffee

That’s fucking hilarious.

My wife loves it and I hate it for the exact same reasons.

Granted this isnt a “Purchase,” but I married my wife. After that first sample, I was hooked and knew I wanted the whole woman forever. 6 years later, I got my best friend and gal of my dreams everyday.

This may sounds nuts but i have a simple formula I like to follow. A Coke with no ice but still cold or a Pepsi with ice. A Pepsi without ice or a coke with ice tastes different.

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Drowned out of his 11th story window.

Floor drugs? Back in the day we called them Ground Scores.

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