I do the same as you with a few exceptions:

Laugh at my old man’s jokes about the weather when we go out for our weekly breakfast? You get an extra buck or two

If I order water, an extra buck or so. It takes the same energy as bringing me a beer. Especially at night clubs.

Bring me back my change but didn’t break up that fiver? I’ll tip you exactly 18% and make you bring me back five singles

The bars empty, you’re not making squat in tips and you hang out and chat with me. Could be an extra five bucks or so

Give me a free beer? I’ll tip an extra five bucks

That’s looking on the bright side of things I guess

Then he injects the butterfly

Yeah I felt I dated myself by talking about listening to the radio. I don’t know if this is of any help to you: I started taking guitar lessons at 50 and although I may never perform publicy, I enjoy just playing alone or with a few jam buddies. Around the same time I started going to punk shows again and after a little time made friends with some of the regulars (just like old times). Covid and inflation derailed that but I still make it out a few times a year. We all have our own personal obstacles though

While listening to the oldies radio station and hearing music that was popular while you were in high school

This man shits worthless click bait out of his mouth daily, why does media fall for it?

Looks like the voodoo doll in Trilogy Of Terror

Laws vary state to state. I walked into a bar in rural Pennsylvania that had ash trays on the bar and the odor hit me in the face as soon as I walked in the door. Don’t miss that one bit. Someone told me it’s still legal in places that don’t serve food

Pretty sure the washer goes on the bottom

Just as much as I blame people that didn’t vote

Not me but a coworker. Worked for a food importer and distributor back in the early 90’s and had never heard of needing any kind of certification to operate a forklift. Coworker who gave me a ride and got me stoned on the way to work every morning has a minor accident while on the tow motor. He is embarrassed and panics. Rather than stopping and taking a deep breath he tries to straighten out the error before the boss finds out and ends up puncturing the drywall above the office with the forks. It was 35 years ago, I still remember thinking how easily those forks could go through me

This dumb motherfucker

I get thrilled when I get socks as long as they’re merino wool

Not me but I was at a New Years Eve white elephant party where everyone brought something they were gifted but didn’t want. Someone who had a relative that owned a video rental store (yeah 90’s) brought a promotional press packet for a Steve Martin/Goldie Hawn movie. B&W glossy photos of the stars, photocopied excerpts of the script, bunch of crap stuffed into a cardboard folder. So basically they gifted their high end junk mail. As for me I got a flamingo costume

That sucks

Let’s not rule out bladder cancer.

The Cattle Callin album buy Hank III. Every song is “music” played along with cattle auctioneers doing their thing

Enhance!

You funny!

The ultralight stuff is a whole new set of gear I’ve considered buying but don’t know if I’ll use it enough to be worth it. My old school ass carries about 50lbs on a weekend trip though it drops fast as I eat up the food and drink the beer. I managed this for decades while my body weight was about 130lbs. Now I’m at 170 with plantar fasciitis, mild arthritis and possibly Covid lingering effects.