Am man.

I enjoy living alone.

I enjoy owning my house and keeping it clean and maintained.

I enjoy cooking at a pretty high level.

I don’t particularly enjoy doing my laundry, but it doesn’t hinder me.

I do not enjoy yardwork, so I outsource it to a landscaper.

I enjoyed being a single dad.

I enjoy watching my daughter making her way in the world.

I enjoy it when my daughter calls me to regale me with tales of her life. I enjoy it even more when she calls me for advice.

I enjoy stability.

I enjoy the silence.

I enjoy the autonomy.

I’m pretty boring.

Age has definitely begun to take its toll on my youthful looks, especially as all my remaining teeth seem to be rebelling all at once.

I do not adapt well to changes in my daily routine or my domestic environment.

I save money. I don’t much spend it.

But I enjoy traveling whenever I feel like it to wherever I feel like to see whichever friends I please.

I do not own a bidet or an electric kettle, just a dystopian stovetop kettle.

Life has repeatedly, loudly, aggressively taught me that all of this is woefully insufficient.

I am not a desirable adult.

Please, take the bear and leave me be.

I’ve never heard of this so did a little digging. I’m not sure this fits the bill of state sanctioned since the “owners” were pretty much immediately prosecuted via joint efforts of the local sheriff and the FBI then convicted of violating federal law.

While looking through this, I learned of peonage where Mae Louise Miller was released escaped from slavery in 1961. I don’t see any legal repercussions for her “owners”.

I wouldn’t say state sanctioned in her case either. Maybe state turning a blind eye.

Nonetheless, whether or not state sanctioned applies in either situation, it doesn’t diminish the horrible reality that people were being kept as chattel well into the twentieth century.

Thanks for informing me of this. I really had no idea it existed.

What about 3D printing one?

deleted by creator

Oh yeah. Not many secrets been us

I was able to buy a meager seven hundred square foot two bedroom house in a not great neighborhood eighteen months ago with an interest rate of 6.375%. The regular monthly payment is $1,870. Fortunately, I’m able to pay an extra $250 per week on principal so I’ll have it paid off after ten years.

It ain’t much, but I’m looking at housing security in retirement, and that feels like three quarters of the battle.

I’ll probably never be able to sell it because the buying market around here demands three thousand square feet, several hundred bedrooms, and dozens of baths.

Fuck it. My Gen z daughter can deal with it when she inherits it, fully paid off.

She makes six figures already with no student debt and feels like it’s hopeless to buy a house, so she can at least have this little hovel o’ mine.

Edit: Should I meet an untimely exit from this iteration of mortal coil before the house is paid off, I’ve got life insurance that will more than cover the remaining principal. She can then choose to take the cash or the house, which at present would still net her sixty thousand after payoff.

I have never received a dime of support from family, so I’m hell bent on getting her every advantage possible.

Next up: a full congressional investigation into Wikipedia

Got about twelve to fifteen years to go depending on circumstance. Been working for forty years as child labor laws weren’t so strict when I was young. Pretty tired and not sure how I’m going to endure the home stretch.

I thought we were talking about Buzz Armstrong. Guy was so fast he changed his last name to Light-year.

The real achievement is that I got my daughter through a high falutin’ extremely expensive college with no debt and now she makes more than I do.

I had to eat a whole lot of ramen and endure living in a shit hole rat infested rent house to pull it off, but she did the work, I was able to fund it, and it all worked out in the end.

Somehow, she still voluntarily speaks to me. That’s the achievement.

The first time I went to college, I was shit faced drunk every day, rarely went to class, and never studied. Somehow I managed to graduate with a B minus average, but not until after a couple terms of D averages and academic probation.

The second time I went to college, I was in my late thirties and had a much better understanding of the money I was paying and the consequences of failing as I had become a single dad. I went to class every day, sat in the front row, asked questions, read all the textbooks, did all the homework, and got out with a perfect 4.0 through two years of undergrad work and a year and a half of grad work.

I was pretty proud of myself until I later realized that I have never been asked for my grade average from either school for any job ever.

My classmate’s dad from my first stint was a county judge and would say to us, “What are you worried about? The main thing is to keep going. Don’t stop. As to grades, C’s get degrees.”

The man was entirely correct.

I’ve taken to deadpan saying, “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

Doesn’t work well with strangers, but it works with people who know me and have some level of understanding of the whole thing.

I never can decide if Snoop Dogg is an evil genius who got away with it or if he’s a great illustration that redemption can actually happen.

If the latter, we are most certainly approaching criminal justice the wrong way.

Before we talk about acquittals or dropped cases, I still feel pretty strongly that he was no angel when he was younger. Today he comes across as downright wholesome.

They were overall pretty good until the owners fucked them over. Not unlike the A’s today.

Should’ve gone with Washington Senators and Cleveland Spiders. Commanders and Guardians are just never going to appeal to me.

They’re being pedantic about how the original question was worded in a gotcha attempt. Not worthy of a response.

Tailgating. It’s gonna kill you eventually so let’s streamline the process.

Also fuck you, especially when I’m in a god damned exit lane.

Haven’t you people learned that you don’t f**k with cats?

Is that you, Foley?

I don’t know why we’re even remotely concerned with some businessmen, well respected in their communities, conducting perfectly reasonable financial transactions when just last week, I saw a BROWN person in an orange grove, taking all the jobs from “the blacks” and forcing them into poverty!

Heavy /s though with use of actual sound bites from our burgeoning overlords.