There’s a gas station north of Austin TX in Round Rock that has Buddha Burgers. Absolutely, hands down the best burgers I’ve ever had, fast food or otherwise.

I once feel asleep, standing up, at a Static X concert. 12 straight hours of drinking will have that effect…

Aided by an Excalibur-wielding Picard.

But Taffy, aren’t you worried about the Vug…?

You sound just like my little weenie girl! I do try.

If your Doxie is anything like mine, those tissues had best be coming from the waste basket in the bathroom. Anything else is just empty calories.

Wanna get high…?

Joe Biden is literally the Grandpa in the joke “Grandpa died peacefully in his sleep. Everyone else on the bus he was driving died screaming.” Grandpa needs to just shut the fuck up and go away already.

Yes, Gorgonzola, u can haz cheezbrgr.

They’re kinda endearing. Like a blind dog that’s always bumping into table legs.

Help us, Obilly-Wan! You’re our only hope!

“You have my sword.”

“And my bow.”

“And my axe.”

“And MY VUVUZELLA.”

I was gonna say Albuquerque, because of the name itself, the weird Al song and Breaking Bad, but Roswell is way tinier.

Leonid Slutsky! Making copies! The slutsky! Slut-a-rooni!

😘 you’re just to sweet for this world. Careful, lest i get diabetes.

Oh, are we doing non sequiturs now? Lemme try:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

—Abraham Lincoln

It ain’t much, but it’s honest work…!

I can’t read this. There’s no clown emoji anywhere. .5 stars. Disappointing work. Try harder!

pats head Good boy! Now sit!

I’m i talking you into circles? Are you getting dizzy? Are you seeing people that aren’t there? lowers voice conspiratorially Is the “sock puppet” in the room with you right now…?