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Back to history: When AIDS patients held die-ins, they went to hospitals, lay down in front of them, and literally waited to die.
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IF I DIE OF AIDS FORGET BURIAL JUST DROP MY BODY ON THE STEPS OF THE FDA
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If you’re young & either queer or queer-adjacent, think about the number of people out of the closet you know your own age & think about how many you know your parents age. They’re not stamping us out of the mould any quicker these days than in the '60s, except in lockstep with population growth.
I think, growing up, my picture of relative numbers of queer people & straights was unavoidably impacted by the number of empty seats at our table. That might be the case for you too. The number of elders you never got to meet.
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Remember this when people talk about how small the LGBTQIA+ population is. That it’s “such a small percentage of the population to be catered too”. Remember this and tell them, “that’s because homophobia killed them”.
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This picture of the San Francisco Gay Men’s Chorus is often included with the “The men facing the camera/in white are the surviving members” but it leaves out something extremely important:
By 1996, all of the men facing the camera in the picture were dead.
Every.
Single.
One.
Eric Luse, the photographer, said this in a more recent article:
“The men in white are the surviving members of the original San Francisco Gay Men’s choir (sic). The others represent those lost to AIDS,” reads the caption.
Luse released the same photo three years later, but this time with an amendment to the caption.
“The Gay Men’s Chorus posed to illustrate the impact of AIDS. Those dressed in black, with their backs turned, represent those who had died.
Today, all their backs would be turned because the obituary list is now 47 names longer than the chorus roster. For each man singing these days, more than one chorus member has died of AIDS.”
This information started the choral members saying before each performance, “I sing for two.”
The SFGMC also maintains their “Fifth Section,” a list of members who have been lost to AIDS over the years, “Their names are memorialized in our concert programs and in the list below. Their spirit lives on with us and we honor their memory” they site on the webpage.
By 1996 the obituary list was almost 50 names longer than the entire choral roster. All of the positions plus four dozen more, gone. The obituary list continued to grow, too. The cost and availability of any treatments in the mid-late 90s continued to cause more death.
If you were queer in the 80s and 90s, you knew someone who had it and knew people who died from it. Period. I cannot stress the impact this had on the queer community and those of us who were alive at the time, and I know the scope of it is almost unimaginable to younger people today.
By 1996, there were NO surviving original members of the SFGMC. You need to know that when you see this picture.
The men in white are the surviving members of the original San Fransisco Gay Men’s choir. The rest represent those lost to AIDS.
Dozens of the men turned away from the camera here in this shot were also dead alongside the men in white. It is vital to recognize that. There is no hope in this picture, it isn’t a display of a lucky few who avoided death. There is no “Well at least some of them survived” because no, they didn’t, and this time was so fucking bleak and painful it’s astonishing that anything got done. They’d march one week and die the next. Their friends would bury them in the morning and march in the afternoon. This went on for years. Bigotry and hate and ignorance killed generations of queer people. It speaks to the sheer resilience of the community that from that all but state-sanctioned genocide, we have gained so much ground in the last few decades. Much is owed to the people who refused to stay quiet and who fought even on their deathbeds, so please consider learning about LGBTQ+ history as a way of continuing the fight and showing respect. Many of us coming of age at that time didn’t have that opportunity, and made it a point to learn and get involved as teenagers and young adults because we saw what we were losing.
Thanks ❤️