Title might be melodramatic, but read on:
I’m realizing I deal with liars constantly, both individual persons and institutions.
Where I work at the bosses decided to change the supply chain management software we work with. Fine. Employees from the new software company came to train us on it. New software is noticeable worse than old software, hangs, several functions are lost, the whole process is unintuitive, the old software combined several colors to make it easier to find what we need, new software does not. It’s not only that the whole software company lied massively, trying to make us work with something that’s mostly a beta version, but the employees as well trying to convince us how great their software is. WTF? Do they believe we are stupid?
Due to a dispute with a neighbor I hired a lawyer. I was under the assumption this lawyer would be so easy to contact as a lawyer I hired years ago… I was wrong. Turns out they only offer appointments when I’m on duty, but they only told me this AFTER I signed in. Why didn’t they tell me this beforehand? Now I’m trapped on a one year contract with this lawyer, a lawyer I cannot really contact. They have a landline, but even if I call on their working hours, nobody comes. If I write an email asking if their number changed, all I get are passive aggressive answer from said secretary. It’s like all they care about is getting me to sign.
Do I accept people are like this? Do I weed people out?
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Not everyone knows what you know and it sounds like you’re judging them based on the assumption that they do.
They might not be lying.
You mapped out two scenarios and in neither scenario did anyone lie to you.
In scenario one I don’t see how the employees of the software company are lying to you. They aren’t the ones who decided to switch the software, your bosses are. Why the bosses made that decision your post did not say. How do you know that your bosses were well aware that they purchased a “beta” version?
In scenario two the primary issue is your assumption. You assumed that this lawyer would be available when you were not working. I don’t know your shift but if that is “9-5” then I am confused by your angst. I have hired a number of lawyers all of them work in the 9-5 time frames. You did not clarify your assumption therefore the lawyer has not lied to you.
Yeah. It is possible that, in Scenario 1, the bosses were just incompetent. It is possible that either no one in the room knew the problems OP is having or they were people low in seniority who were afraid to speak up.
Sure… but no one is lying to him.
I agree.
On the lawyer, it’s worth talking about the problem with them and asking for expanded access or to allow you to cancel the contract. Otherwise you can leave a truthful review to at least help others. Bad reviews really bother a lot of people.
Sales people say anything to close the deal. They don’t care.
Why would you sign a one year contract with an lawyer? You pay these guys by the hour generally.
I would try to weed out where possible. But I am also aware that many forms of lies are largely institutionalized and accepted in the context of the market economy and various political and ideological systems that I am part of. For example, I am exposed to a constant stream of lies from various companies that say they care about me, my personal data, my health, the environment et c.
I don’t know how realistic it would be to try to completely break away from these systems while at the same time maintaining the social relations I need to function socially and emotionally. Also, since the educational system only taught me how to be part of these systems and not how to break away, I lack much of the knowledge and skills needed to do that.
My conclusion is that while I can sometimes weed out on an individual level, some kind of political organization and action is also necessary if I want to at least try to do something about the institutional and system levels.
I feel your pain.
Trade some politeness for some pragmatism. Take these lessons learned when making a purchase / signing a contract / whatever. Next time, directly ask for all of the terms you need, even if it seems insulting to imply they wouldn’t provide it. Pin it down, get it on paper, hold them accountable, even if it seems rude.
Not that I’ve got this mastered. It’s hard. You want to assume others are as dutiful as you and your ilk, but most are just trying to make the sale and move on (metaphorically… often literally)
If you don’t have strong consumer rights enforcement you have to do a lot of research in advance. Even then you can be hit by companies changing model later.
In B2B, if you’re in charge you need to negotiate in terms to be able to break the contract if the other side don’t deliver what they promised. If you’re just an employee, you can’t do much about your bosses making stupid decisions. They might have thought they would save money, or gotten kickbacks, and you’re stuck with the consequences.
And yes, dishonest people should be filtered out.
Souring on people never solves anything. Neither does being a golden retriever. You can try to reapply the same lessons from people to one another but what they really share is their class interest, it’s not that simple. There is no way to deal with the infinite ways we can betray each other except for building upon our obligations. Until everything in the entire world is involved, all the plants & animals.
