MJ calls what happened to her in Zion national park “small ‘T’ trauma”. She knows women have experienced worse from their partners. But she still feels the anger of being left behind on a hike by her now ex. “It brings up stuff in my body that maybe I have not cleared out yet,” she said.
Five years ago, MJ and a new partner – he was not exactly her boyfriend, and the pair were not exclusive – traveled from Los Angeles to Utah for an adventure getaway. MJ, who is 38 and works in PR, was looking forward to exploring Zion’s striking scenery; its vast sandstone canyon and pristine wading trails were on the list. But on the morning of their big hike, MJ was not feeling well. She could not shake the feeling that something was “off”; indeed, MJ would learn on this trip that her partner was seeing other women.
As they made their way up Angel’s Landing, MJ’s partner started walking faster than her. “I could tell it was getting on his nerves that I was slow,” she said. “I was like, ‘Fuck it, just go ahead of me.’” He did without hesitation.
When she caught up at the top of the mountain, they took a picture together. Then her partner hiked down the mountain with a woman he had met on the way up, leaving MJ to finish by herself. They broke up shortly after that trip. (MJ asked to be referred to by her initials for the sake of speaking openly about a past relationship.)
Last month, MJ opened TikTok and heard the phrase “alpine divorce”, a label she now attaches to her experience in Zion.
So she had a double standard. Then surprisepikachu’s when she tells him to go ahead and he does. Lol
Even casual partners will want to know if their partner is sleeping with others for a variety of reasons.
He kept pushing ahead and going faster than she could, what else was she supposed to do besides tell him to go on ahead?
I would argue you shouldn’t give the person trying to do something bad exactly what they want
I agree with you. It just gives them plausible deniability. Better to communicate clearly. “Stop walking so fast. I can’t keep up. I don’t feel comfortable being left behind. In fact, if you leave me behind, I’ll start a TikTok trend to shame you.”
Both of these people seem like shitbags so it’s not surprising they both do shitty things to each other.
Wow what an insughtful and balanced take. It must be true because your position is in the middle of two arbitrary extremes. Why didn’t I think of that!
Tell him to wait for you. You don’t abandon your hiking partners.
Still trying really hard to make this situation the woman’s fault, hm?
It’s a real struggle in that situation - do you insist that the man you’re with who is visibly frustrated and physically stronger than you wait? Or do you give him what he wants which is to push ahead and leave you?
This is why women choose the bear.
It’s both of their faults. She chose a piece of shit and he is a piece of shit.
Women need to learn how to protect themselves from scumbags if they want to stop being taken advantage by them.
Unfortunately, I guarantee the women he switched to will not learn from the previous ones’ mistakes. They’re just going to be glad it’s their turn, lol.
Your portrayal of the woman in this story is wildly inconsistent. Reflect on why you keep changing your views to make what happened her fault.
Not really. I’ve been consistent this entire time.
What part of “you don’t abandon your hiking partner” was unclear to you
What part of that was within the woman’s control?
None, which is why I’m confused about why you think I’m blaming her.
“Tell him to wait for you.”
That’s the sentence where you’re putting the onus on the woman to tell her partner to wait for her.
He should do that already.
You asked what else she could do. She could do that, but as I said, the fault lies entirely with him: you don’t abandon your hiking partners.